Saturday, October 16, 2010

Grant me this rant

Heh, rhymes doesn't it?

So let me talk to you about a 'friend' of mine.

'Uh-oh', thought Icewolf's vivid readers, 'here she goes on another rant that doesn't really matter. Ah well.' Well well well my dear readers, yes in fact this is a rant that doesn't really matter but something that has been bugging me for at least 5 years.

Let me start with this:

One night, a girl was having a birthday sleepover, and the next morning she wanted to go with her group of six-some to a restaurant. But the next morning, oh woe is her, the road is a bit icy. Her mom pulls one of her friends aside (who in fact could easily walk home in about a distance of a yard away) and tells her that she is worried about the future weight of the car and asks the friend to go home. The friend, dejected, walks back to the others she has come to known and starts to pack.
"Why are you packing," the host girl asks.
"Your mom is sending me home because the road is icy," the friend said back, a tone of hurt quite obvious. You'd think the host would pick up on it, and try to do something about it.
"Oh," she said, blinking, "sorry."
And did nothing.
So the friend, hurt and sad, walks home with her belongings, and bursts into quiet tears, thinking of the warm breakfast that she didn't get to eat with her friends.

And that friend was me.

So I've been friends with this girl who lives by me for years now, and let me tell you, for it's long life it hasn't been a very good friendship. My 'friend' had an awful habit of lying way back, and constantly told me lies. One day (I was a very gullible kid), she told me that one of my favorite characters in one of my books was out to get me. I was too scared for three days to open anything in fear that this character would get me. Finally on the third day she told me that it was a joke and it wasn't real.

I got angry, and I think I told her that she needed to go home.

I did that often. I'd hint that it must be getting late and she needed to leave whenever she irked me but she wouldn't yield and stay until I told her outright that she needed to go. When we grew up more she would stay for a few minutes then have to leave. She was constantly trying to get me to be girlier, buying me lip gloss and make-up for my birthday.

She never seemed to understand how I felt or even tried to see me for who I was. We constantly got into fights about me not being girly or something like that. To this day she doesn't even seem to care about what is going in my life and all we ever talk about is homework. She doesn't seem to try to start a conversation about anything else.

And I'm sick of it. I'm done.

"No more," I told myself, "I can't go on with this anymore."

I mean, what friend would do nothing about them leaving, but do a lot to change who their friend is?

Anyhow, if you read this, thanks for bearing with me. And thanks for being friends for me as well.



Squeaks said...

You know, Icewolf, the situation sounds similar to what I've been through. Except, I was best friends with a girl and we got along really well. But, over time we started to have arguments about our beliefs. I'm a pretty radical Christian and LOVE to talk about God and miracles and fun stuff like that. She hated it. Anyways, we went from being like inseparable sisters to mortal enemies within like a week. Now, whenever I try to talk to her she ignores me. It hurts a lot. Sometimes I wonder what God's plan is for me...why he's taken away EVERY good friend I've ever had. I've only had 3. One when I was a kid, one when I was a pre-teen, and one when I was nearing adult-hood.

When I was a kid, my best friend and I were really close; we got along well. But then jealousy got in her way because I had something she wanted. And so she stopped being my friend.

With my next best friend we were pretty close too. I thought of her as a sister; I showed her about Jesus and she accepted him as Lord. And then one day we went to a rock concert and I complained about one band...and suddenly *poof* I wasn't allowed over she didn't want to talk. I suppose that friendship never really was a great one.

It was this last one that definitely made me hurt the most. I never saw it coming.

So I totally feel for you. I know what you mean when you say you're left out of things...hehe in fact, i turned to public blogging mainly to become friends with folks who have the same interests as I do. It definitely does help some :) And it makes me smile.


Caroline said...

Icewolf, I hear you.

I've never had a situation like yours, but a lot of my friendships just seem to fizzle out. Me and my best friend when I was younger, who I've known since I was 5, were inseperable. And then when we were about 10, suddenly, for no reason at all, we just grew apart for each other. I realized I hadn't seen her for months. There wasn't even a fight. We just never got together, and now I haven't seen her for a few years.

Friendship has been on my mind SO much lately. I feel like one of my best friends is growing apart from me and doesn't even care about my feelings or about seeing me anymore.

I could go on. But I won't. I will say, this girl isn't worth your time. She sounds to me like the opposite of what a true friend would be. True friends don't change who you are, cause they love the way you are. Sorry if that sounded cheesy, but it's the truth.:)

Don't feel like you're the only one struggling with friendships!:)


Icewolf said...

Squeaks: I can very much relate. This year my two best friends who I love very much and one who doesn't really know God have been don't have any classes with me this year at school and repeatedly I ask God why He did this to me. But I do have this other friend who is always (sorta ;D) there for me. So maybe he has something for you too!

Caroline: Thanks for your encouraging words! Friendship should never change one's entire nature. I hope and I'll pray for you and your other friend. If that doesn't work out, God probably has something else in plan for you.

Love to you both, Icewolf.

Caroline said...

Thank you! I'll be praying for your friendships, too. And thanks for reminding me that God might have something else in store.:)

Squeaks said...

That's what I've been thinking too; God must have something else in store for me :) I do suppose that living 40 minutes out of the nearest town and kilometers away from the nearest decent family has something to do with my lack of friends XD It's called the middle of nowhere for a reason lol!


The Golden Eagle said...

I've never been in such a situation, but I can't believe she did that! I'm sorry you had to go through such a thing.

Shimmer the Cat(Admin) said...

Oh my gosh..
I'm so sorry, Icewolf.
It's kind of like that with Mango and I now....
Anyways, I don't want to burden you with Mango and my troubles, so I'm really sorry. :(
And people can't change who you are, because that's what makes you special.
Heck,I'd rather be a tomboy than a girly-girl any day! (I'm not kidding!)
Who needs the "birthday-crasher" anyhow, eh? Keep on truckin'!!

Icewolf said...

Shimmer: Thanks. I don't know what's going on with you and Mango, but I'll pray for you anyway. *smiles*